|
Today’s Tip: Face to Face vs.
Written
A co-worker says something that upsets you.
Perhaps you feel your work ethic was questioned, or they
insulted you, or called you a particularly derogatory name.
You are faced with a decision: do you face the person and
try to clear the air or do you fire off a memo asking for an
apology and documenting the perceived offense. Which is
better? Does it matter if this is a repeat offense?
Facing the person can be the quickest way
to resolve the issue. But it can also be scary; we may have
a hard time controlling our emotions, or we may be afraid of
a violent response. A memo can also be fast; we dash it off
and move on with our work. Plus, a memo documents the
problem in case it persists in the future; it gives you a
paper trail showing that you tried to address the issue.
If the problem warrants some action on your
part, it is serious enough to deserve handling with care.
The aim is to resolve the perceived slight and preserve the
working relationship, not add to the tension. Most often, a
face to face conversation is the most appropriate way to do
this. It gives weight to the issue: it is important enough
that you are willing to have a perhaps uncomfortable
conversation, and the relationship is important enough that
you want to mend things. You open the door to a meaningful
dialogue. You are more likely to be heard and respected.
Memos sometimes work, too. All too often, however, you end
up with a bigger problem. The response may be an angry memo
that results in a war of words. The memo may get circulated,
creating more problems. Tensions and animosity increase and
our work may suffer.
The difficulty with a written complaint is
that loses the tonality and inflection that are integral
parts of our message. An often cited study informs us that
our words make up only about 7% of the message a person
receives when we are talking, with tonality and body
language delivering the rest of the message. When we write
something, especially something extremely personal or
emotional, the missing 93% is critical. We must be much more
careful with our wording if we put it in writing, knowing
that we cannot capture the non-verbal impact a face to face
meeting would have. Our words will not, can not, have the
same impact. Written communications require much more
sensitivity and care.
When deciding if you should use written
communications for this type of problem, ask yourself two
questions: Is a written communication needed for management
or political purposes? Is it possible to have a face to
face? If the answers are NO and YES respectively, avoid the
temptation to take the easy way out with a memo and instead
set up a meeting with the person to clear the air. You’ll be
glad later that you did.
Remember… it’s all in how you say it!
If you have a specific
communication issue you would like to see addressed in this
forum, let Sherry know by contacting her at
sherry@thewattsconnection.com.
Let Sherry Help You:
Sherry often speaks to groups interested in
learning how they improve their communication skills. If you
know of a group looking for speakers, ask her how she can
tailor a program to their specific needs.
If you want to learn more about how coaching can help you
take your communications to the next level, Sherry offers a
complimentary coaching session designed to help you
experience coaching and see if it is right for you.
You can contact Sherry at
sherry@thewattsconnection.com.
Subscribe now:
If you liked what you read in this issue,
we invite you to:
-
Subscribe and receive this e-zine
once/month, send an email to
info@thewattsconnection.com
with the word SUBSCRIBE in the subject line. You
will not receive another e-zine from me unless you send
the email asking to subscribe.
You will be able to unsubscribe at any time by
sending an email with the word UNSUBSCRIBE in the
subject line. FRIEND: As we discussed, I have
already added you to the subscription list, so you do
not need to respond unless you decide to unsubscribe.
-
Contact us and let us know how the tip
helped you.
|
